Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
