Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
