two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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