well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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