She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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