Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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