; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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