I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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