Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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