I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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