no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
