That's intense
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
