if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
