SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
