Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
