# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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