There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
