You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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