butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
