Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
