I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
