we have pet lesbian snakes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize