Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
