Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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