Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
