The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
that is very illegal...i love you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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