that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
