so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
