with your own penis?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
