My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
