Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
