Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
