Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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