I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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