his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
