Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We have started to decorate penises.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
