He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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