I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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