Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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