the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
