How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
