Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
