IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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