Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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