god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
