I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
