doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
