I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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