I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
