We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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