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  I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??

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• Care and feeding of boyfriends is easy. We're pretty low-maintenance. Sex a couple times a week, keep the fridge stocked with sodas and proteins (like pepperettes, cheese, deli meats), hose us down a couple times a week (generally before and after the sexing), and have a premium cable package so we can stay entertained while you're not around.

  Submitted by technoir on Sep 6, 13 at 8:26am

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• How often do you want to be eaten?

  Submitted by okieraider71 on Sep 6, 13 at 7:50am

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• Like don't worry like I don't think it will like ever be like a problem for you.

  Submitted by ashannen25 on Sep 6, 13 at 11:31am

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• Same is asked about freshman girls.

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Sep 7, 13 at 12:18am

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• This is also off Tumblr. Damnit people.

  Submitted by yewinnhard on Sep 6, 13 at 5:23pm

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• Give them a backscratch and they will love you forever

  Submitted by 🔥 on Sep 7, 13 at 8:06am

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• Maybe a girlfriend is more your speed.

  Submitted by MILF68 on Sep 6, 13 at 8:13pm

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• this was stolen off facebook . Lol be original at least

  Submitted by tduke421 on Sep 6, 13 at 4:03pm

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• Sex a couple of times per week? Do you want him to starve? That doesn't happen until the 10th year of marriage. And you forgot to mention the blow jobs during period weeks!!

  Submitted by theskaven on Sep 7, 13 at 6:16pm

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