Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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