I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
