He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
