When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
