Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
