so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
