I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
