weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
