i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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