I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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