its not stalking. its research.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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