WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
