you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
