The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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