Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize