WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
