okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize