Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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