Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
