Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Someone came in the potted fern
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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